That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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