PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
