I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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