Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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