Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
