New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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