he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
