and you said cock pushups were impossible
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
