FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
