well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
