I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
no more duck duck goose at the bar
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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