Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize