i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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