Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
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i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
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She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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