He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
