She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
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Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
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On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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