North Korea, Best Korea!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
