"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
