Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more

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(856): I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more http://tfl.nu/kc45

Replies (2) Good night (625) Bad night (1848)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.

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(920): I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love. http://tfl.nu/8p2f

Replies (15) Good night (3728) Bad night (712)
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(619): View more from California

you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.

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(619): you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you. http://tfl.nu/x6wp

Replies (9) Good night (5963) Bad night (647)
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(206): View more from Washington

It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to

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(206): It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to http://tfl.nu/3nm2

Replies (9) Good night (5028) Bad night (923)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom

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(401): I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom http://tfl.nu/vj7o

Replies (11) Good night (2687) Bad night (842)
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(863): View more from Florida

In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.

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(863): In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something. http://tfl.nu/qu2f

Replies (4) Good night (1608) Bad night (704)
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(619): View more from California

Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently

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(619): Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently http://tfl.nu/19aa

Replies (6) Good night (1696) Bad night (682)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.

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(608): We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth. http://tfl.nu/k58a

Replies (29) Good night (2194) Bad night (878)
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(909): View more from California

I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.

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(909): I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus. http://tfl.nu/h461

Replies (4) Good night (1160) Bad night (621)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.

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(508): I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played. http://tfl.nu/k248

Replies (4) Good night (1296) Bad night (460)
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(305): View more from Florida

Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?

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(305): Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference? http://tfl.nu/v6oa

Replies (5) Good night (700) Bad night (1655)
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(509): View more from Washington

Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".

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(509): Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable". http://tfl.nu/w1e1

Replies (20) Good night (1600) Bad night (530)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on

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(505): How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on http://tfl.nu/wdzm

Replies (5) Good night (433) Bad night (1268)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms

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(719): I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms http://tfl.nu/gmys

Replies (5) Good night (1054) Bad night (289)
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(858): View more from California

The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.

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(858): The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good. http://tfl.nu/j93v

Replies (3) Good night (309) Bad night (568)

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