I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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