Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast