Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.