Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I need a shot of tequila, and quick death

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): I need a shot of tequila, and quick death http://tfl.nu/qciv
  Replies (5) Good night (703) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.

  (415): View more from California

  What...you let him do that?

  (650): View more from California

  It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow. (415): What...you let him do that? (650): It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow http://tfl.nu/aum0
  Replies (72) Good night (5541) Bad night (786)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth http://tfl.nu/6ed0
  Replies (29) Good night (4499) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library http://tfl.nu/vcd5
  Replies (5) Good night (3997) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?! http://tfl.nu/krsv
  Replies (30) Good night (1190) Bad night (6962)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila. http://tfl.nu/arvl
  Replies (5) Good night (2658) Bad night (1052)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong. http://tfl.nu/d58h
  Replies (6) Good night (1400) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready http://tfl.nu/rgh6
  Replies (15) Good night (1782) Bad night (1370)
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+64): Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please. http://tfl.nu/o748
  Replies (8) Good night (1053) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma. http://tfl.nu/dz4i
  Replies (3) Good night (1311) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Hahah. They reconnected again?

  (1-707): View more from California

  Like with his penis I guess

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): Hahah. They reconnected again? (1-707): Like with his penis I guess http://tfl.nu/k3d2
  Replies (1) Good night (576) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back. http://tfl.nu/4p4r
  Replies (1) Good night (837) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts. http://tfl.nu/b7ik
  Replies (3) Good night (710) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (567): View more from Ohio

  If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (567): If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you. http://tfl.nu/fy7x
  Replies (2) Good night (460) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up.... http://tfl.nu/p40l
  Replies (1) Good night (324) Bad night (482)

Randomize