so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways