I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
