I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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