Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
