wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
