Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize