you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
