just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
