Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
