we're blogging at a bar
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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