My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She needs sedatives and a leash
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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