good thing vaginas are great cup holders
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.