We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
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:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
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somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.