Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time

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  (248): god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time http://tfl.nu/psyk
  Replies (10) Good night (1049) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.

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  (563): that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark. http://tfl.nu/i86g
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.

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  (417): Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library. http://tfl.nu/8guv
  Replies (13) Good night (896) Bad night (4697) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????

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  (603): you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt???? http://tfl.nu/wi9x
  Replies (44) Good night (618) Bad night (4567) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.

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  (201): kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success. http://tfl.nu/o0d4
  Replies (44) Good night (6586) Bad night (1676) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.

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  (415): The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight. http://tfl.nu/rmxq
  Replies (20) Good night (3975) Bad night (609)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today

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  (850): I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today http://tfl.nu/9m95
  Replies (18) Good night (4518) Bad night (972) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.

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  (727): there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning. http://tfl.nu/6rsw
  Replies (17) Good night (3760) Bad night (1714) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.

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  (541): side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children. http://tfl.nu/bng1
  Replies (2) Good night (3254) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time

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  (734): Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time http://tfl.nu/r01i
  Replies (7) Good night (1349) Bad night (1344) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.

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  (347): I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of. http://tfl.nu/xmgz
  Replies (24) Good night (683) Bad night (2325)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?

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  (541): Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am? http://tfl.nu/ak1s
  Replies (10) Good night (1466) Bad night (332) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.

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  (717): Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together. http://tfl.nu/4ceo
  Replies (6) Good night (1255) Bad night (299)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.

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  (803): Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time. http://tfl.nu/1oum
  Replies (5) Good night (386) Bad night (224) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I immediately regret the tequila decision.

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  (248): I immediately regret the tequila decision. http://tfl.nu/ptpj
  Replies (4) Good night (392) Bad night (179) Order T-Shirt

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