Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
sex in a hospital.. check
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
