spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.