The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
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When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
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I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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