So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
