So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
