Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
