You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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