HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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