I can tuck mytits in my pants
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
