Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
