So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize