i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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