You're so nebulous sometimes
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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