i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize