I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So apparently I’m into choking now
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