Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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