he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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