Tell her she can't have a vagina
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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