Non-Jews are for practice
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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