Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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