am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
