That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
