We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
