Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Success! We fucked roommates!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize