You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.