Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave