you win again, gameday.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?