i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Even my vagina gasped.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
