last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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