you guys were way drunker than both of me
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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