Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
